MIAMI

We've reached Miami safely. Of course, being me and all, I was very prejudice. I was definitely expecting guys in ponchos surfing into town with all their belongings, all of them wearing vintage Che Guevara t-shirts. It's difficult facing the fact that one is simply stupid. It never get's easier, does it, Britney?

I admit to the fact that I was wrong about several things regarding Miami. However, if I hear one more person speaking spanish, I'm going to start spelling the city's name M-A-D-R-I-D. We had breakfast on the beach today, bringing a sandwich down there is like being a white guy with a rental car in Compton. You're simply not going to get to keep what you've purchased. You see, seagulls hunt in packs here.

Seagulls bring me to my next point: The ocean. Why does fucking everyone adore the sea? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it as much as the german retard sitting next to me but I'd say the ocean is as close to a timeportal as one could get, since everyone seems to become 3 years old whenever they're in it. I've realised that the ocean has to be the nemesis of the forest. I was talking to Anna about the forest yesterday and how everyone is afraid of it. Everyone thinks that bad things happen in the forest, even though there are 2 trillion things in the ocean that can kill you from underneath. Since everyone seems to be so fucking fond of the sea, all murderers and pedophiles should just purchase a scuba-gear and start pulling people down. They'd have a fucking field trip.

To sum it all up, I'm hoping I won't get kidnapped, since my parents wouldn't give up cable TV to get me back. I don't blame them, I'm a cunt.



Here are some more NYC pictures, my friends on facebook(yes, I have it too) have already seen them.











P.S Alot of people here have inspiring catch-phrases on their T-shirts. Like "Please tell your tits to stop staring at my eyes". I have mine on my computer. It says "Imagine, you could be who you think you are". It reminds me not to be a douche. It seldom works.