All hail McDonald's.

We've had hamburgers like four times within the last two days. That made me think about one of the more important pillars of modern society. The concept sought after by Muhammed, Jesus Christ, Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King JR and Gandhi. The concept that every single human being is equally worthless. I'm talking, of course, about the concept of "McDonalds".

Here's the deal, there's Genesis, Exodus, Vishnu, Buddha, Abraham and then there's McDonalds. Now, why do I allow all of these hipocrites to be associated with the, not only culinary but also morally, noble cult that is McDonalds? Because, my friends, the latter is the absolute and definite epitome of the former. Not many people know this but McDonalds is, in fact, the ultimate religion.

Think about it, it's Nirvana for fat people, the afterlife for hindu cows, purgatory for anal people and Mecca to everyone else. We ALL go there at least once a year, simply because that's the way it's always been done.

It doesn't matter if you're Black, White, Cuban, Asian or whatever Grace Jones is. If you're inside the pearly gates of this fast food heaven, you are worth absolutely nothing. Any insult that may befall you within those gates can simply be discarded by using the line: "Whatever, man. You're at McDonalds too". The pope himself could walk in and get a disgusted look from a hobo, simply because he decided to supersize his meal and then order a diet coke.

Of course, there are people who try to drag the noble chain through the mud. In a documentary in 2004, an idiot decided to conduct an experiment:

For 30 days Spurlock ate nothing but McDonald's (supersizing whenever asked). He ate everything on the menu at least once and continued to eat after he was full. At the same time he consciously attempted to get little or no exercise. By the end of the month he had gained 24.5 pounds (11.11 kg), was moody and had less interest in sex.

Am I the only one struck by the sentence: "and continued to eat after he was full"? If you continue to eat after you're full, gaining weight is probably due to something called "biology", not hamburgers.

In a world where I feel like we're all drowning in a mix of war, poverty and vegetarians, it's important to have that special place where you know that you're safe. McDonalds has actually inspired a number of great artists to write songs about love and the relevance of security. P Diddy's "Every step I take" being one of the more famous and loved ones.

I guess, in conclusion, sticks and stones may break my bones but while we're both at McDonalds, words will never get me.

// Robbin

p.s More pictures coming up soon, of alligators and stuff! That wasn't exciting enough to deserve an exclamation point, was it? crap.