I miss Batman.

Even though most Swedes have a more than adequate knowledge when it comes to English, we still feel the need to translate things. The thing I don't get, is who picks what gets translated and what doesn't. For instance, why is "Spider-man" translated, but "Pirates of the Carribbean" isn't? I'd say, if you asked any child in Sweden what the "Carribbean" is, he/she would probably say something like "It's the place where Legolas lives these days." That would be the extent of it.

On a side-note, why are some things directly translated, while others aren't? Spider-man is a good example. In Swedish, his name is simply Spindelmannen, meaning exactly the same, Spider-man. Super-man, however, is called Stålmannen, which means Steel-man. The word Super is even a word in Swedish, and it's far more indicative of his abilities than Steel-man. If you want to do something about the name, make is less farfetched, not more? Do something about the name "X-men", for instance. To me, that sounds like a gang of middle-aged pseudo creeps that make S&M films when their wives are off playing squash. "X-men".

This is, by far, the dumbest one. My favorite character, possibly of all times, who has an awesome name, was completely left at the hands of Swedish translators. I don't know what they had been inhaling, I'm assuming it was something like kerosene. For eight months straight. Anyways, they decided to translate my favorite character's name "Bat-man"....to "Leather-patch". LEATHER-PATCH? Somewhere in Sweden, there is a degenerate fucking prick, who is laughing his ass off with his buddies. That has to be the biggest prank in subtitling history. I have never, in my life, heard a more stupid name for a super hero. "Leather-patch & Robin". Maybe they should have just made it "Leather-patch & Relatively small, often crimson-colored bird with a pleasant sound." Forgive me if I, as a criminal, wouldn't crap in my pants when I heard that Leather-patch & Robin were on my tail. Not only does it sounds like they're would be chasing me in a Mini-Cooper, they probably wouldn't venture to go over the speed-limit.

"Dude, we gotta bail, Leather-patch is on his way!"
"What, like a patch of leather? Can it walk, or is it attached to someones jacket?"
"No, the guy!"
"Forgive me if someone named after a small bit of carefully treated animal-skin isn't going to make me drop the Xbox 360 that I am trying to steal."
"Robin might be coming too!"
"Leather-patch AND Robin? This scenario just gets gayer by the minute, doesn't it?"
"Let's go, I hear he's dangerous!"
"He can't be that tough. Naturally, he is non-resistant to water. As for Robin, he's a grown man who wears tights and a red jumpsuit. His nemesis is probably every single person from the southern parts of the USA."
"Great, he's here. Why don't you go over there and splash some water on him? He's the huge, ripped guy with a cape, a bat-mobile, and a 2-inch belt that carries 400 gadgets. Go on, I'll wait."
"He's...He's bigger than I thought. Now, in which direction would you prefer to run? I think that way might be uphill."

We all know how the rest goes. Wait, I think I just got it. The name change actually benefits him in the end, since criminals underestimate him. You know what, fuck all that. Batman is simply the way it was meant to be.