The reason why I'm single.

Why do people buy flowers? It's like buying and then giving away an aids-patient, seriously. You buy something that inevitably is going to die, yet you nurture it to stay healthy for as long as possible. Does the term fighting a biological clock ring any bells? Not only are you wasting time taking care of something that you can't save. You paid to do it. "Check out our new service, Rent-a-child-with leukemia, see how long YOU can keep this 6-year old alive!" That's why flowers is a terrible gift. You're giving someone a dying, yet beautiful thing. It's like an aids-puppy, basically. To all of my friends out there who looove flowers, I'm going to start giving you aids-puppies. Let's see how fun that will be.

Speaking of which, I'm not that fascinated by pictures of flower-details and such. Pictures of extreme details, in general. It's like you're trying to create controversy by "showing something from an angle that you normally don't see". That is not the case. You are showing something from an angle that you normally don't care about. Do you know what you call people who stand in the street with their face 1 inch from a cherry for 2 hours, with a smile on their face? Let me tell you, they are not called "Infinite appreciators of sublime material detail". They are called fucking crazy people.

Glad to have gotten that off my chest. I just printed a new portfolio and some other stuff. The whole thing set me back about 600 dollars. It s-u-c-k-s. That's why I don't buy it when people say "I was so poor in the beginning, before I got to where I am right now". Bullshit, you either had enough money to buy a digital camera, or spend a shit load of money on development and printing. Pick one, you lying a-hole. I hear the camera adds 15 pounds on your body. Does that mean that a interview removes 20 000 pounds from your wallet 10 years ago?

Anyways, here's the recipe of the day: You take everything that I've stated above and you mesh it together. What do you get? Voila, the reason why I'm single. I just find it hard to buy into some of the hallmark-bullshit, even though I should definitely just stop being such a pussy. Unless I manage to outlive flora, I guess I'm pretty much stuck with that scenario. However, I feel the need to point out that a bunch of cool people lived totally asexual lives. Like Andy Warhol, and...and...and I should just admit that Andy Warhol at least had the opportunity to get laid.

In conclusion: In the arts of love and affection, oysters are considered to be an aphrodisiac. I, however, am the fucking anti-christ. Swell.

// R