Walt Disney and the great whale of Norway.

I would consider myself to be a somewhat smart individual. That being said, I watched a documentary about Stephen Hawking yesterday and I now feel like I'd pay Tara Reid to take the SAT's for me. I often confuse Tara Reid with other sluts her age. Anyways, I mean the one who has breasts that look like they're terrified of each other. In my current state of casual ignorance, I've started to question things. And I mean things that are more relevant than the fucking eternal question that guys ask people at parties to be smart/naughty/funny:

"Why is a blow-job called a blow-job? Anyone who's been in the vicinity of one would disagree".

How should I know? Why is a female distributor of mail still called the postman? Leave me alone.

SO, to my far more relevant questions. The astounding world of renowned pseudo-Nazi Walt Disney is sometimes a bit confusing to me. Don't get me wrong, I love Disney movies(personal favorites being Robin Hood, The lion king and Finding Nemo) but when you watch them nowadays, some things seem strange to me:

-Is there a reason why the main characters of Donald's town are the only ones who are animals? Everyone else is human, yet they don't seem to mind the fact that the richest guy in their town is... a duck.
-Why does Donald wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, since he doesn't even normally wear pants at all?
-Isn't it kind of mean to tell people that someone as hot as Belle, would ever hook up with the Beast? To me, that's just giving false hope to people from England.
-Why do they use Roman numerals in the Greek myth of Hercules?
-How does Goofy(who is a dog) know how to talk, considering the fact that Pluto(who is also a dog) is about as articulate as Helen Keller?


In other news, why is K-Fed such a douche? Not only did he put the word "white-trash-crack den-looking" on the map, it's like the Universe of complete a-holes imploded and created a black hole of un-coolness that can only be described as the Armageddon of all cleanliness. I've actually met someone who sympathizes with him and told me: "Like you could ever get Britney Spears." If I wanted to land a whale, I'd move to Norway.