Bananachaser is no more

I was just talking to Max about the concept of "peasant mentality". Basically, it's something that you do or say that makes you a part of the general mass. It's funny how people think that they're never part of the general population, simply because their grand-father was a part of a european sub-culture and because their godfather is into film-noir. Jonah supposedly wanted to write an article for his satire magazine, entitled "99% of the American population believe themselves not to be a part of the masses." Anyways, here are a few things that you should keep an eye out for:

Patriotism: As we all know, patriotism is basically thinking that your country is the best. It'd be great fun to ask someone why they think that their country is number one. What would a good answer to that question be? "Uhm... I was born there?" I've never met a well traveled person who still thinks that his/hers country is the best. It's like saying: "I've lived in 100% of the countries that I've lived in. And that one was the best one I've lived in."

Autographs and pictures of famous people: Getting someone's autograph is like saying "You're cooler than I am. I just want to get that down on paper, so that I can look at it whenever I want to." I stood next to Chloe Sevigny at Coachella and I considered asking if she wanted to take a picture with me. Then I stopped and thought: Why would that even be cool? If anything, it drastically decreases the almost non-existent chance of us two ever being friends.

Standing in line for things that you can do for free: Not only doing this, but standing in line to PAY to do things that you could do for free. Like going to a club, for instance. What essentially exists in a club? Drinks, music and people. Disregarding differently configured lights and the amount of decibels, isn't that what a bar has? The reason why people go to clubs instead of bars, is the most crucial point if you want to get laid: At a club, you don't have to talk to people. I'd say, the possibility for sex would decrease by at least 75 % if you first had to explain why you work in converting coca-cola bottles into fur coats, that you're a chronic asshole who's been divorced three times and that you have four equally neglected kids, all of them named X jr. It's a lot better buying a drink for someone(ergo, saying that you want to be inside them) and then desperately trying to two-step to Kanye West's latest Daft Punk-remake. I'd say, if you were to eliminate the possibility for sex, there would not be 50 people in line for "Le Cab" in Paris. There would be one guy, possible from Germany, looking for a taxi.

Feel free to add anything to this list, it's important.

Anyways, we're about to drive to L.A, after having a huge breakfast. It's not fair, I love food but the nutritional kevlar that came with the baby-adopting package, courtesy of the Sri-Lankan government, is still intact. I sweat food, for christ sakes. What I'm trying to say is, I'm always going to be small enough to go to summer-camp inside Oprah's jacket pocket. God damn it.

// R