Bananachaser is no more

R.I.P Bananachaser.

2008-12-04T15:13:00.000-08:00

I can't deal with this stupid blog name anymore. I'm changing it. It'll be the same, don't worry. From now on, I'm here:

www.charlesthebear.blogspot.com

until then, R.I.P bananachaser.

Stop fucking discriminating.

2008-12-03T14:52:00.000-08:00

I hate when people discriminate. I wouldn't say I suffered too much from it when I was a kid, since my friends always stuck up for me, but it always bothered me. Some people never seem to be able to get rid of that discrimination. They have been persecuted, spat on, disrespected and humiliated from the very beginning. This social injustice makes it so much harder for them to get jobs, friends and spouses. And none of them deserve it either. It really fucking pisses me off, in fact. I have to take a stand, I have to say something. In a time where a black president gets elected as a statement against discrimination, I would like to invite you to do something to help these people as well. Most of you should already know what people I'm talking about. People who play miniature-golf.

The history of miniature golf is relatively uncomplicated. It was supposed to be golf for women. This fact alone testifies to the fact that the sport was against discrimination of women. Naturally, they couldn't play regular golf, since that requires a penis complex. And so, miniature golf was born, and it's refined playfulness worked wonders as a cute little degrading compromise to the real sport. From the very beginning, the elders agreed on the fact that the sport had to be very diverse. Hence, according to wikipedia, the term "miniature golf" can also be switched for: mini-golf, midget golf, goofy golf, shorties, extreme golf, crazy golf, adventure golf, mini-putt and so on. My favourite is midget-golf, since midgets are clearly awesome.

Apparently, the Swedish Minigolf Federation (Svenska Bangolfförbundet) was founded in 1937, being the oldest minigolf sport organization in the world. This was not an accomplishment in oh so many ways. They formed this union in post-war times, when I imagine the interest in playing miniature golf as being rather low. Also, they apparently managed to convince someone that miniature golf is actually a sport.

If you think about it, miniature golf is pretty much the unrecognized essence of awesomeness. It's not demanding in any way, the props are cute, anyone can do it, and let's face it, you look cool doing it. Especially if you're one of those guys who squats down to see which angles are the best and which is the best way to go about eliminating all male pride by using that fiendishly small stick to get a pink rubber ball into the little bunny's mouth at the other end of the court. This got me thinking, how would one take this to the next level? How do we make miniature-golf even cooler? I took the liberty of compiling a small check-list that you can follow if you're looking to fornicate some 16 year old that you met at "Pepe's Puttputt Party":

-Wear a leather jacket while playing miniature golf. In between shots, take it off and casually hang it over one of your shoulders. This will remind people of Johnny Depp in the movie "Cry baby". Except that everyone knows that he probably couldn't even play miniature golf.

-Every time you miss a shot, casually blame the court. Please refer from using swear words, though. There are probably children present.

-Even though we all know you have multiple clubs, don't bring them all. Just don't.

-Listen to cool music while playing, maybe something like The Virgins. This proves that you hang out with people who take music way too seriously, and also that you can multi-task.

-Don't wear a t-shirt that has your World of Warcraft character on it.

-After a successful shot, always say "well, would you look at that" in a casual way. However, people still have to know that everything you do is intentional, thus the outcome is always expected. Saying "Hole 12, 2 shots aaaas usual" also helps this.

-Go up to complete strangers, stand right behind them as they're putting, and gently whisper into their ear: "I could tell from a mile away that you have a refined, yet not optimal technique for your body type. Let me help you." You should refrain from referring to the padawan/jedi relationship in this situation.

-Leave the fannypack at home. I know, American Apparel made them cool again. But that only works if you disregard the fact that they didn't.

-Nevertheless, fashion statements are underestimated. Beige corduroy pants are the new black corduroy pants. Never stop wearing them. Which I know you don't.

Finally, this is another fact that should further inflate your interest in this sublime activity. The most prestigious MOS minigolf competitions in the world are US Masters, US Open, British Open, Irish Open, and World Crazy Golf Championships. The latter being a highly formal and prestigious event.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I simply want everyone to get along. It's an ambition we all have to take part in. We were all born equal, and should be treated accordingly. Regardless of your skin color, education, political views, religion, or inexplicably ridiculous hobbies.

re-jigging it

2008-12-02T05:29:00.000-08:00

Last night I was going over old edits etc and decided to completely re-jig one of the stories I shot earlier this year. I didn't feel like it had enough presence, so I changed it up a bit.

New version here

ps. I have to make a somewhat bold statement. I don't think I like fish-eye. I mean, it doesn't look cool or nice, does it? It looks like you held a tube in front of your camera/that you have transformed into an aquatic being, big deal.

Michael Mann, totally avant-garde.

2008-12-01T04:40:00.000-08:00

As we're all fully aware of, there are certain movie-directors that cross boundaries. Lynch, Kubrick, Fellini, Godard, Clark, just to name a few. They didn't necessarily invent something new, but they were completely original. And if nobody else is doing it, doesn't that make it new? Actually, no. That just makes it original. Anyways, last night I saw a movie that makes me think Michael Mann should be included with the previously stated heroes of cinema. You see, Michael Mann is not only original, but he invented something that I can't seem to find anywhere else. And I'm a fucking amazing googler, I kid you not. Michael Mann has tapped into something so unique, it didn't hit me until yesterday. And that was the second time I watched the movie. And so, while watching Miami Vice, it hit me that Michael Mann has successfully invented some sort of cinematic mass-rape. In essence, that movie is so fucking bad, all other people who have ever been anywhere near an action movie, HAVE to feel at least somewhat violated.

Not only is Colin Farrell the biggest douche since Alexander the great, he looks fucking ridiculous. Okay, this guy is cool:

This guy makes me feel like I've just been skull-fucked by a rhinoceros:

I'd say Sonny Crockets level of being annoying is definitely up there with Luke Perry from the old episodes of Beverly Hills 90210. Sonny isn't quite at Dylans level, but it's freakishly close. Now, There's always something that confuses me about directors like Michael Mann. I mean, he makes fucking awesome action movies like Heat or Collateral, and then he just sits down and thinks:

"Okay...So Heat and Collateral were both critically acclaimed films with great actors, but I mean, I don't necessarily want to get stuck in one specific genre. Hence, I should probably make a film with that asshole Colin Farrell, where we savagely abuse one of those great 80's tv-shows. I bet I could do an absolutely terrible job, if I just try hard enough and get a really big budget. In fact, I could probably do such a poor fucking job at it, that in comparison, listening to Limp Bizkit's cover of Behind blue eyes(The Who) will suddenly feel like a warm hug from your grand-mother." By the way, that cover never ceases to fuck you in the ear. Seriously, If I could have anyone play at my birthday party, it would be The Clash, after they had just stomped on Fred Durst's testicles. Over and over and over and over again.

Anyways, I lost my train of though, as usual. I guess my point is that Miami Vice is a terrible film. Absolutely terrible.

Nylon Magazine

2008-11-27T02:50:00.000-08:00

Uhm...So this might be the first time I've ever posted twice in one day. UPS just knocked on my door and handed me this months issue of Nylon. It's Dec/Jan issue and it has Lily Allen on the cover. I have 8 pictures in this issue, namely pages 66, 70, 76, 90, 91, 93, 95 and 96. So check that out if you want. I'm editing the pictures from the shoot on Tuesday. I hate editing, I truly do. I would suck without Maja there to help me. She's pretty much my whole operation.

Nylon magazine

D is for Disco. E is for Dancing.

2008-11-27T00:41:00.000-08:00

These are some pictures from my fade between New York and London this last week. Good times.

K.I.D.S

2008-11-26T03:54:00.000-08:00

Now, I know that this topic is completely outdated, but I can't help myself. Why do people bring their kids on airplanes? I honestly do not see the point. And don't say I can't understand kids, because I used to be one. I went to Mallorca with my mom when I was two years old, and I can pretty much say one thing about that place: That I don't know anything about it. I don't know what people on Mallorca look like, I don't know what they eat, I don't know what plants grow there, or if the cinema is open until midnight. Sure, I probably had a blast, eating good food, swimming in the ocean and generally enjoying the finer things in life, but let's face it, I would have had an equally awesome time sitting in my grandparents bathtub, eating Frosties out of the box, which is probably as far as my culinary preferences went back then. As long as it's unhealthy and I can eat it straight out of the box, hand it over.

Hence, everyone on that flight had to endure my screaming and bitching because my ears were hurting during takeoff and landing, and my mom couldn't fully relax during her vacation, just so that I could do all the same things...in a different country. To sum it all up:

Character A(everyone I don't know on Mallorca) most likely thought I was really annoying during my stay.

Character B(my mom) couldn't enjoy a vacation that she paid for and probably needed pretty badly.

Character C(me) probably spent 50 % of my time on Mallorca, crying over stuff that wasn't sad. The other 50 % of my time there was spent laughing at things that weren't even funny.

When you go on vacation, kindly leave the kids with their grandparents. As long as there is a nintendo or a football around, latitudes and longitudes really don't matter.

// R

ps. Is it just me, or should the item in this thought-bubble probably be replaced by a living being or something?

Great morning music: Buzzcocks - Ever fallen in love(Nouvelle Vague cover)

stockholm sucks. so does norway.

2008-11-25T13:35:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from the past week or so. This is just a fraction, though. The blogger system is being a bitch, and I fdon't feel like dealing with it right now. I'll upload the rest tomorrow. So, I'm leaving London tomorrow, unfortunately. I'll miss eating way too spicy indian food with Nat and Luke, while watching Pineapple Express on Surfthechannel...

Sublime magazine

2008-11-24T06:44:00.000-08:00

So, one of the stories I shot this summer(spring?) is finally out. I'm actually really pleased with the layout and printing, and also they didn't cut the story down at all. It's distributed worldwide, but if you're in the states, you can get it at all Barnes&Noble stores etc. Actually, just check the website out if you want to know where you can find it. Anyways, I just thought I'd let you know. Also, I have a shoot tomorrow, things are starting to shape up.

Credits:
Photography: RobmonZter
Styling: Katie Burnett
Stylist assistant: Joy Maire
Hair: Shinya
Makeup: Nicola Hamilton
Editing: Maja Daniels
Model: Jandra@FM

Thanks, Laura with Sublime, for publishing the story in its entity.

SUBLIME

Sasha Maslov

2008-11-22T07:11:00.000-08:00

I somehow feel the need to post some pictures taken by one of my good friends and ex-roommates, Sasha. His images are very similar to one of my other buddies, Maja, and they're both fucking spectacular, I kid you not. Sasha's style is drastically different from mine. Me, I tend to notice and try to capture more of a fast-paced, nocturnally comfortably kid on speed. This probably just reflects the fact that I need to grow up. Sasha's images have more of a calm and serious mood to them, which is awesome for these kind of portraits. God, I fucking envy photo-journalists so much. Anyways, You should cruise over and browse his personal work. If you don't like it, that's totally okay. Just don't forget to tie your shoe-laces when you trott along to your fourth Ryan McGinley casting. God forbid you should fall and involontarily get your kidney pierced by a piece of deserted razor-wire, you dipshit.

I had a meeting with a magazine yesterday and it went really well. We started talking about the usual art-crap and then ended up talking about everything from Swedish schools to Barack's triumph. Also, I have a shoot on Tuesday, before going to Sweden on Wednesday. My hopes are high for this one, I think it should work out nicely. Pictures to come.

Sasha Maslov

ice cream man

2008-11-19T23:39:00.000-08:00

Having the ice-cream man feed you your ice-cream at 4 am, is now officially the only way to eat it:

Today's highlight

2008-11-15T16:42:00.000-08:00

How can something so wrong, simply feel so right:

Hello africa. but not really.

2008-11-14T14:43:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from what is inevitably my last week in new york. Highlights from my stay include seeing Jonathan Richman live, Barack winning the election and seeing Holly accidentally walking downwards in the escalator that goes upwards. So, I'll see you in Europe?

a general thought.

2008-11-13T15:37:00.000-08:00

I actually concluded that this picture defines one of the quintessential differences between New York and Los Angeles. You see, in New York, this is drunken behavior. In Los Angeles, it's a 500-dollar spa-treatment:

General thought: Get off the car, bitch. This is Brooklyn, not University of Kansas:

I developed a bunch of pictures, but I don't have time to upload them right now. And there's a lot of them, so I'll have to do it in segments. My stay in New York is coming to an end for this time, I had an awesome time. Oh, and this is currently my favorite video:

Kid Koala - Fender Bender

today's shoot.

2008-11-11T18:20:00.000-08:00

Last night I saw Quintron at Santos. I'm pretty sure I had a good time, and I almost fell asleep under the stage. I got home at 4 am, and got up at 7 to shoot for the February issue of Nylon. It was kind of a nightmare but I think it turned out alright. I have a couple of fresh new rolls of film to post, but they're not developed yet, so a couple of oldies will have to do for now. This is my last week in New York, it pretty much sucks. If you want to hang out, feel free to call. Oh, and I might get semi-exciting news on Friday.

MGMT - Of Moons, Birds & Monsters

2008-11-07T10:18:00.000-08:00

I feel like posting a song.

MGMT - Of Moons, Birds & Monsters(Holy Ghost Remix)

// R

The future is bright, but so is the past.

2008-11-05T18:37:00.000-08:00

Barack Obama got elected president. This is huge. Not only is there an African-American in the white house, there is a sane human being in the white house. This, to me, is proof of the fact that even though the world pretty much sucks, people want to move forward. And even though this is a truly inspiring moment in history and the future inevitable seems brighter, we must not forget about our past. I don't think I even have to stress the fact that the past shapes the present. Factors would naturally include: war, peace, literature, politics, art, music and many other things. The last one of these factors has always been essential for the happiness and general content of the masses. Bob Dylan sang about Rubin "The Hurricane" Carter, John Lennon imagined a better world, Sex Pistols encouraged kids to be gross, Rage Against The Machine took politics in music to a whole other level, and Bob Marley just wanted his people to be freed. All of these artists shaped the way the way the world operates, in one way or another. That was why, in the spirit of these great poets, me and my good friend David decided to spend a couple of hours of our life, compiling a list of the very best in Eurotrash-music of the 90's.

Now, David would stress the lack of Paradisio's hit Bailando on this list, but I simply could not bring myself to include it. While expressing my sincere apologies to him, I secretly blessed the person who decided to invent the concept of "veto". And so, in an absolutely pure and true state of nostalgia, we encourage you all to break out the drinks, speed or whatever gets your juices flowing, and trash your apartment to this top 10 list of sheer cultural history:

1. Cool James & Black Teacher - Dr Feelgood

2. Culture Beat - Mr Vain

3. Corona - Try Me Out

4. SNAP - Rhythm is a dancer

5. Basic Element - The Ride

6. Ice MC - Think About The Way

7. Aqua - Roses are red

8. Maxx - No more

9. 2Unlimited - No Limit

10. La Bouche - Be my lover

And we had to add a song that we both love, even though it didn't really fall into the same category as the others. Please note the fact that we both love it, and it was left out, only for categorical purposes. Here is the underdog:

Gala - Free From Desire

BO

2008-11-04T22:05:00.000-08:00

I must admit, this is a fucking awesome day. Fucking awesome.

V O T E

2008-11-04T11:14:00.000-08:00

This is to all you fine citizens of the United States of America:

VOTE VOTE VOTE

VOTE
(for barack)

Any minute now.

2008-11-03T08:32:00.000-08:00

As promised, here are pictures from the past week or so. I hope you'll enjoy them as much as I enjoyed the actual week.

praying for victory.

2008-11-02T14:09:00.000-08:00

I developed some new pictures today, I'll post them tomorrow.

Judgement day is coming up. Please mr Obama, win this one.

Halloween

2008-11-01T18:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I like going back and looking at old sets I shot, and then re-retouching them. It's 50% fun and 50% swearing over having made a shitty selection when I actually shot it.

I must say, our Halloween-party turned out really well. I went to bed without cleaning my face off. Hence, my bed is now full of fake blood. For the party, we built a photo-booth from scratch, click the link below to see a quick stream of what went on in there. My own photos will be posted when I have money to develop them...

Photo-stream(flickr)

NspaceO

2008-10-28T08:30:00.000-07:00

Is there anything worse than websites that have bios written in the third person? Seriously, who sits down and writes their own bio in the third person?

"Robbin was born in Sri Lanka but quickly relocated to Sweden, as a part of a patch-your-marriage-up project. Nothing special happened during his adolescence. That was kind of the problem. After high-school, he moved to Paris to study photography. It was not an easy choice to make, and Robin thinks that Robin did very well in adapting to life in the big city. Robin also thinks that Robin did a great job evolving as a photographer during his years in France. Way to go, Robin. Not only did Robin prevail in finding a unique pictorial style, but he evolved into something that can only be compared to something godlike. At least Robin thinks so. He does not refrain from calling his own pictures his 'work', since Robin clearly looks at them and sees pure art. Robin never thought he could manage the kind of lifestyle he acquired in Paris, but he's still going strong. Robin is very proud of Robin. That's why he wrote his bio like this, casually yet firmly avoiding the amazing word "I".

Halfway through that text, you should be thinking: yeah, bla bla bla, mother fucker. Get over yourself. Soon, please.

I love that song.

vacation is for people who hate their jobs.

2008-10-26T17:41:00.000-07:00

I flipped through Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen's coffee-table book today, and it was surprisingly legit. For those of you who don't know it, it's basically a book where they interview their main role-models, like Peter Lindbergh, Terry Richardson, Diane Von Furstenberg, John Galliano, Karl Lagerfeld etc etc. It also has candid portraits and polariods from parties. I read the interview with Lindbergh, where they discussed the topic of digital photography and his thoughts on it. Not surprisingly, he's not a huge fan of digital photography, but unlike so many others, for good reasons.

I definitely share his main argument: That a digital shoot is way less personal, since all the 8 people in your crew want to see how the pictures look. And so, to not upset people, you have to pause in the middle of shooting a set, just to show your little display to the assistant make-up artist. And you're not even showing that person a finished product, so what's the point? It really interrupts the flow of a set, pausing and looking at a display that's less accurate(if possible) than a Michael Bay war depiction. Terry Richardson also made some valid arguments, I realized that today when I was developing the pictures posted below. The anticipation is almost half the thrill for me. A lot of the times, I don't even look in the viewfinder when I take a candid picture, and so I get surprised at least a couple of times per roll, in both good and bad ways. I also feel that people who shoot film often have a higher ratio of good pictures per set. They're forced to push themselves harder, since you can't look at a screen to see if the pictures are turning out alright. You just have to know when you push the button.

In essence, I think digital photography is a great thing. I'm not going to pretend like I could manage without it. That being said, it's definitely a comfort thing, and while shooting digital + constantly looking at that stupid fucking nightmare of a screen, I sometimes can't help thinking: Wow, anyone could do this.

New website album

2008-10-24T12:37:00.000-07:00

I updated my website with a new album, simply entitled "New York Part I". It has my favorite snapshots from my first month and a half here. There will be a part II coming up as well. Meanwhile, here they are:

New York Part I

break.

2008-10-23T11:27:00.000-07:00

I've been working so much the last couple of days, my fingers are actually hurting. That's it, I'm taking a break for a couple of days. I saw Juliette Lewis last night, first at Lit and then at Beatrice. She's pretty gnarly, but I can't help finding her kind of cool.

Does anyone know which song Maskinen released first, "Alla som inte dansar" or "Segertåget"?

"I'm photogenic, just give me a minutes notice"

2008-10-20T11:34:00.000-07:00

This is dedicated to all you lovely people that take 400 pictures at a party, 387 of them including your own ugly mug. I have to ask, do you take pictures of yourself, just so that people will know that you were actually at the party? I mean, if you weren't at the party, that means you have a camera that has it's own legs and that goes to parties by itself. As cool as that would be, it doesn't seem very likely. I'm sorry, but there are few things that I hate more than people who don't socialize during parties, because they're too busy calibrating the white balance on their own camera, simply to make it match their own gnarly skin-tone. And when they're done, they go on to break up social interactions, just to practice their own picture-face and casually pursue a career that they know is never going to happen.You need to stop. All parties will benefit from it.

Sorry about getting all worked up. Anyways, Here are the pictures I promised you guys from like the past week. I hope you'll enjoy them. At least more than I'm enjoying the loft right now. It's fucking colder than an old man's balls, I kid you not. Here's a little tip for you: Before you build a house with exposed brick, don't forget the key element: To abolish winter. If you fail to do that, please don't build the house. In fact, kindly eat your own head for even considering what would be a fucking menace of a structure.

lazy ass

2008-10-18T15:55:00.000-07:00

I'm broke. It sucks. Today I tried paying for development with my credit card and it got rejected. Development costs 5 dollars. I happened to have cash on me, but I'm feeling too lazy to upload the pictures right now. Today I also walked around on Manhattan, listening to Bloc Party. I was thinking about upcoming photo-stuff, and I'm a bit bummed that I have to wait so long before I can post real fashion pictures here(since the magazine has to come out first), but I guess that's just how it works. Oh, and I'm getting more and more excited about hanging out in Sweden for a month or so, before visiting Ghazal and Jonna in Dubai. Anyways, I'll post some more disposable snapshots within a couple of days.

Nylon magazine

2008-10-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

I have a couple of pages(starting at 130) in this month's issue of Nylon magazine. If you're in Europe, I have no idea of where you can get it. If you're in the states, it's probably within 10 feet of you. This is the November issue, featuring Paris Hilton on the cover. Anyways, you guys should go get it and then collectively mock me. Don't worry, I'm sure I can handle it. That being said, if you were one of the people mocking me, why would you worry?

dress by: Rodarte

www.nylonmag.com

Choke and fall, mr seal.

2008-10-13T21:42:00.000-07:00

Imagine standing up there with a camera where everything in the viewfinder is in reverse. You turn left, everything you see goes to the right. It would have sucked if I fell. A lot.

I saw Choke last night. I must say, I was moderately impressed. I love Sam Rockwell, but the whole movie just felt kind of...bleh. Meaning nothing really happened. I went with Julia, who apparently doesn't like pop-corn. She probably doesn't like rainbows, babies, chocolate, puppies or sunsets either. Anyways, I'd give the movie a 5/10, with me being in a generous mood. And finally, I feel the need to integrate a dedication to my beloved point-and-shoot that was lost in Miami earlier this year. And to add insult to injury, it happened like 5 minutes after a sea cow, or manatee, or seal swam 3 feet from me and Linus. Don't worry, I've got it all down on film. Somewhere.

zoo

2008-10-11T15:48:00.000-07:00

I went to the zoo the other day, it was amazing. I saw(in order of coolness): Pandas, Tigers, Gorillas, Elephants, Hippos, Lions, Cheetas, Orangutans, Zebras and some weird deer thing. Max's favorite animals are elephants, which is a pretty decent call. I'm not positive about mine. I just know that my least favorite animal are guys that go to concerts without a shirt on. Also, I'm not going to name anyone, but one of my friends has gone through his entire life, thinking that penguins are the same size as humans. If that's true, the second Batman movie is inaccurate, since Danny Devito is too short to portray a penguin.

Oh, and I was watching "We own the night" yesterday(for the 2nd time) and I have only one thing to say. Starting a movie with Blondie's "Heart of Glass"? Fucking great call.

I don't have time to write a proper post right now, sorry. News are that I'm going to Berlin for new years, a trip that has great potential. Anyone who knows where MDSLKTR are playing, step forward. Oh, and I'll probably post some new pictures at the beginning of next week.

// R

Punked by Mao on four to six wheels.

2008-10-06T20:34:00.000-07:00

So, I'm in Washington D.C, visiting Max. I just felt that I needed a break from the city and I don't have any shoots planned for a little while. That being said, I thought of one on the bus today that is going to be fucking amazing. It might take a while before I actually shoot it, but don't worry, it's coming.

Now to the main point of this post: Hilarious business concepts. I decided to take the famous(infamous?) Chinatown buses down here, paying a mere 35 dollars round-trip. Now, if you go on the bus-company's website, there is a spectacular amount of buses going to Washington D.C daily. There's one about every half-hour or so. Before boarding the bus, I seriously questioned how that can be profitable. I mean, how many people need to get from NYC to Washington D.C at 11.00 AM on a Monday? The people on the bus were hardly commuters, since the trips takes like 4.5 hours and what kind of job requires you to depart at 11.00 AM and arrive at 3.30 PM? So, how does the bus company make this work? I'll tell you.

I bought a ticket for the 11.00 bus, but arrived and boarded the bus early, mainly because I am a pussy. I must say, I was very surprised when the bus instantly went on its way at 10.30, half an hour too early. Naturally, my first thought was: "Poor guys who thought arriving 20 minutes prior to departure would be enough." The only feeling within me stronger than my sympathy for those people, was the relief of knowing that at least I would be arriving 30 minutes early. Let's face it, I don't even know them.

So the bus jetted off, but after about 20 minutes of listening to music(I'm not saying what I was listening too, you'll judge), I couldn't help but notice that my surroundings were still covered in markings resembling some sort of calligraphy. Another ten minutes later, the bus made a sharp right turn, and we were right back when we started. Hence, the bus departing at 10.30 from 88 E Broadway had just become the 11.00 bus as well. And it doesn't end there. You see, the 11.00 bus took off again, simply to evolve into an 11.15(ish) bus. All of a sudden, instead of being 30 minutes early, I was 15 minutes late. People around me had been stirring nervously for about 45 minutes at that point, but for me, it was just too hilarious to get angry. Not only that, but who was I supposed to complain to? It's not like the driver spoke English.

You have to admit, doing something like that to paying customers would require balls the size of...really big balls. In essence, my day consisted of me and about 45 unsuspecting voyagers of the 11.00 bus, basically getting fucked. Right in the ear.

Oh, and I really feel like doing another spontaneous animal series, like the one I did on Max's cats at like 6.00 AM when I got bored of working. It was really funny seeing how they hated the camera at first, and then kind of dug the attention.

You've got to know your place on the food-chain.

2008-10-04T10:17:00.000-07:00

My expectations for Fujiya & Miyagi's album "Lightbulbs" were really high, since I loved the previous "Transparent things". I have good news and bad news. Starting with the bad news: The album is not very good. The good news: The sandwich I'm currently eating is amazing. The album does have one great song, though. You should check it out, or something:

Fujiya & Miyagi - Pussyfooting

Here are some more pictures from like the last week. My level of inspiration is really high at the moment, but my will to actually carry things out, is not.

Oh, and as a bonus, I feel the need to post the video for Soulwax' song "E-talking". This is fabric, people:

pure terror and the four walls

2008-10-01T12:56:00.000-07:00

Living in New York has made me realize something. The world is a dangerous place, guys. Everyday there are multiple dangers hiding behind every corner, in every bush, and in every room. And I'm not just talking about physical or mental hazards, either. There is such a thing as a social hazard, and when it strikes, the outcome could be:

1. You might become an outkast.
2. Your relationship with you roommate will never be the same.

You're probably wondering where I'm going with this, but knowing me(and I'm assuming you do), you should be expecting a highly relevant question in the end. Now, when I said evil and danger might be lurking in every room, that's exactly what I meant. For now, we have to be cautious, not only when stepping into unknown territory, but also when we casually visit places and rooms we've hung out in hundreds of times before. For there are certain scenarios within those four walls that can break a household in two. You understand, of course, that I'm talking about walking in on your roommate while he is masturbating.

Now, you are probably thinking that the drama ends there. It does not. Not only is your roommate comfortably yet intensely pleasing himself in, what he thought was, the comfort of his end-zone, he's also watching a movie at the same time. And imagine that it's not porn, or even a slightly erotic movie(read: Wild things), but a fucking weird one. This got me thinking, what would you guys say is the weirdest movie to discover that your roommate is masturbating to(male or female)? Since we don't want to do this all fucking day, let's break it down to a top 5. Here's what I'm thinking:

-Philadelphia
-2001: A space odyssey
-The Shawshank Redemption
-Disney's Robin Hood
-Jaws

I'll let you guys mull that one over for a while, while I finish this strange train of thought. In retrospect, I guess I could question my roommates total inability to lock his fucking door, but I have no reason to get mad at him. I mean, I could say that it's pretty much his fault that I can no longer perform the most simple tasks, like getting ketchup out of a Heinz-bottle, but that would be unfair. It's me that has to roll with the punches, hit the bricks running, or whatever you would choose to call it. In the end, I guess what I've learned from all this nonsense can be summarized in one little word:

Knock.

Almost done.

2008-09-29T20:27:00.000-07:00

I'm almost done with the editing and minor retouching of my 469052405u2052 images. That number being a slight exaggeration. Everything about this shoot(except for how long it took) was as usual, meaning:

-I consumed several energy drinks during the day and didn't eat lunch.
-I was the shortest person there.
-I'm still tired. Believe it or not, it's hard work.
-I improvised a lot.
-I'm not fully content with the results.
-Everything is about me.

Also, I just saw something hilarious in a picture from last week.

Check out the guy behind my friend with his hand down that girl's crotch. She sure snagged a classy one. Well, at least her tramp-stamp isn't on her forehead.

Jojo&Malou

2008-09-28T13:19:00.000-07:00

I'm currently looking over the pictures from yesterdays 10 hour shoot, retouching all of them is pretty much going to take up my entire day today and tomorrow. It's a lot of fucking work. I should probably start with a break. Perfect.

Also, you guys should have a look my friends Jojo&Malou's latest show from London fashion week:

Jojo&Malou

"I'll do to her what douchebags did to the guitar."

2008-09-26T14:55:00.000-07:00

As promised, here are pictures from this last week, including my birthday. Definitely one of the more fun birthdays in the last year.

I hate you(above, not below).

Next year, Lula.

2008-09-25T16:51:00.000-07:00

I bought the new Lula today, you guys should really check it out, if they sell it in your city. If you're in New York, they definitely have it in the best magazine shop I've ever been to. I'm not sure what it's called but it's on Prince st between Thompson and Sullivan. The only thing that sucks, is that you can't sit down and read the magazines there, since it's a shop, not a café. But in terms of fashion & photography magazines, they have everything, seriously. That place is like what heaven would be like if it actually existed.

Also, plans for next summer are already being made. I'm not sure it's possible, but 2009 might actually top 2008. Two awesome roadtrips might be involved, but we're still waiting on confirmation from important, yet not very likely participants(Seth McFarlane, Amanda Lepore & Sting).

Tip of the day: Do the truffle-shuffle.

I have so many pictures on my computer that you guys haven't seen. Maybe I should post them?

New York > Paris & London

2008-09-24T17:31:00.000-07:00

I had a meeting today with one of my absolute favorite magazines and it looks like I'll start shooting for them in November, I can't wait. It's one of the few magazines I actually buy because both the pictures and articles are great. For instance, there are magazines I get mostly for the images(Self-Service, Exit, Lula etc) and there are ones I get more so for the reading(Muse, Amelia's, Purple etc.). This one is a great combination of both. I know I'm always too fucking mysterious regarding photo-details but I messed up a publication in the past, and I don't intend on doing so again. Hence, I will only post detailed info regarding shoots after the issue actually hits the stand. I also dropped off my book with one of the major fashion publications today, but that's more of a long shot. I'm picking it up tomorrow, I guess we'll have to see. Oh, and I might shoot again this week-end for the American magazine I've already been working with, which is great. From November on, I'll be less mysterious about these kind of things, I promise.

Also, I saw "Burn after reading" two days ago, and "Elegy" last night. Burn after reading was really funny sometimes. The rest of the time, it was trying to be really funny. I'd give it a 5/10. Penelope Cruz might play one of the most enchanting characters I've ever seen in "Elegy". I have a serious crush on that woman. Her character was almost as good as Claire Danes character in "Igby goes down" or Kirsten Dunst in "Virgin Suicides".

Anyways, wish me luck in my upcoming photo-endeavors. Here's another sneak-peak of the photos to come.

// R

loft fun & games

2008-09-21T11:45:00.000-07:00

A quick preview of the pictures from this last week. I'll probably post all of them within a couple of days. Stay put.

Also, I must say, I've always been a sucker for Ludacris. If nothing else, he carries this song, for sure.

T.I - On top of the world(feat Ludacris and B.O.B)

More pictures from the last week(including my birthday) will arrive shortly.

Book him, Danno.

2008-09-17T14:49:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't updated you guys in a while. I've done two shoots, one turned out alright, the other ones so-so. For obvious reasons, I can't show them here, but when the magazines hit the stands, I'll let you know where you can get them. To make up for the lack of updates, here are some disposables from the last week or so. In other news, I despise blogspots picture-upload-thingy. Also, my birthday is coming up. You may send all presents to Brooklyn, New York. Here is my wish-list:

-An animal that is nearly extinct. So that I can keep him/her alive.
-A re-adoption invite. From Google Inc, if possible.
-Another Tattoo.
-A mini-camera that specializes in filming how the fuck your headphones always tangle up in your pocket, even if you haven't moved an inch.
-The same thing, but this camera captures how one always manages to loose at least one sock while doing laundry.
-A free plane-ticket to Vietnam. So that I can mail it to Obama's charming opponent.
-For someone to bring back The Face.
-For someone to make Brit-pop popular again, and then credit me.
-A midget entourage, riding on those wolf-things from Lord of the rings, singing my theme-song.
-A basketball.
-A slide that goes from my door to Gothenburg, so I can hang out with my best bud. Preferably a spiral slide.

I think that should cover it.

Legs.

2008-09-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

For someone like me, who loves legs but hates feet, coming across a photographer like this can kind of make your day:

pics by Julian Hibbard.

Some absolute classics.

2008-09-06T19:41:00.000-07:00

Here are some oldies from some of my favorite moments in Paris, Gothenburg, New York etc. I bring my polaroids everywhere, even though they're a huge nuisance. I hate the fact that I can't gather all my favorite people in the same place. It would never work, Linus would annoy the shit out of Sean Connery.

Bigger & Better Things

2008-09-04T12:52:00.000-07:00

Here are some more pictures of New York mayhem, I love this city.

Holly Better Faster Stanton returns.

2008-09-02T18:42:00.000-07:00

Holly and the guys are back in town, and Sunday night was no disappointment. I have an important meeting and a shoot this week, fingers crossed everyone. Also, I'm pondering locations where I would like to shoot in 2009. So far, I've got Iceland, Sardinia, Portland/Montana/Nebraska, Tokyo and possibly Portugal. Any suggestions? I'm in love with the loft where I'm staying and my new roomies. I mean, sure, the loft has mice, bugs, flies and all kinds of shit, but so does Asia.

Natalie Portman's Shaved Head

2008-09-01T11:00:00.000-07:00

I've been listening to Natalie Portman's Shaved Head's album Glistening Pleasure for the last couple of days. I think it's great, you should check it out. It also has one of the best album covers I've seen in a while. Listen carefully for the songs Hush-Hush, Me and your daughter, and Bedroom costume. I'm not going to share the album here, though. You'll have to acquire it for yourself. More pictures of New York mayhem coming up.

Oh, and I came across a great photography chick. Within the realm of commercial fashion, I love it.

Magda Lipiejko

Can I be electric too?

2008-08-30T13:22:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from my first week in New York. It feels great being back. Last night we went to an awesome punk concert on a boat that drove around on the east river from 1-4 am. Good fun.

you fucking cow.

2008-08-29T10:32:00.000-07:00

My friend told me something the other day, and I feel that I should probably tell you guys about it. He went to South America for a couple of months and supposedly, it is totally okay and fairly common to have sex with farm animals there. Not only that, it is said to be customary for boys to have their sexual debut with a farm animal. He heard this from several sources, non-related to each other. To me, that means either it's true, or they just have a "let's make ourselves seem like humongous idiots to the rest of the world" kind of pact. He even said one guy told him he had sex with a chicken, a procedure that subsequently killed the chicken. The fact that he told a relative stranger that, not only erases my doubts that he actually did it, but also that it is considered totally normal.

It's amazing to me how the cultural differences can be that vast. I just can't seem to grasp how the motto of a human being could be: "If I'm going to eat it, I might as well have sex with it first". That being said, Hannibal Lecter is more famous than I am, maybe I shouldn't judge. Somehow, I just can't help looking down on it, though. If we were talking about sex with an animal that has street-cred(like a tiger, or a killer-whale, or something), I would probably be more okay with it. Anyone who manages to lure a killer-whale out, trap it and then fuck it, deserves nothing less than his own TV-show.

So why did this phenomenon appear? Well, it can probably get lonely up in the mountains/in the jungle and who really cares about if your sex-partner has two or four legs? If you think about it, there are many perks to this idea, at least for many guys. There are no dates required, no strings attached, and if your partner gives you a "is that all you got"-look afterwards, you can just tip her over and leave. I really feel like cows got a shitty break in this world. I mean, you wouldn't try to fuck a horse. Not only because your offspring would come out looking like Penelope Cruz, a horse would kick the shit out of you. Cows can't do anything about the situation. Since their level of antagonism pretty much only goes as far as chewing their food three times, instead of the regular four, I'd say all you have to do to fuck a cow, is know which part is the front and which part is the back. Illiterate or not, those are some pretty basic anatomy-skills.

I'm also still trying to decide whether I feel sorry for the animals or not. On the one hand, I don't think little Jose 14 is going to invoke any serious pain compared to an 800-pound bull. On the other hand, I wouldn't want a mouse to fuck me in my sleep, regardless of how much bigger I am than him.

A lot of people would explain this by saying that human beings are only animals, driven by our sexual lust. Are you serious? We've been to the moon. Not fucking things that go "moo" afterwards, doesn't seem like an impossible task for us to handle.

In the kitchen

2008-08-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

Best song played last night:

R Kelly - Ignition Remix
Uploaded by diablo75

Life is all about choices.

2008-08-24T16:15:00.000-07:00

I simply can not hold this argument in any longer. We are presented with certain battles in life, such as fat vs non-fat, partner vs single, black vs white or Michael Moore vs everyone else. But let's face it, none of these things really matter. There are certain battles within us that need be prioritized. Battles that, if not properly dealt with, will eventually tear our body in two. I came across such a battle yesterday, and it hit me like a brick in the face. I'm still somewhat shaky, but I need to make a decision. I'm talking, of course, about what I prefer: The O.C or Gossip Girl.

First things first: The main couples. Not only are Serena/Dan similar to Ryan/Marissa in the sense that they are in a kind of Yin-Yang relationship, they also provide the necessary drama. By "necessary", I mean the relationships that one actually gives a shit about. Blair & Chuck's relationship is less relevant than the olympics. Now, not only are Ryan and Marissa initially further apart(Dan's dad is a rockstar/gallery owner who lives in a huge loft in Williamsburg, seriously), their drama is way more intriguing. And even though I prefer both Serena over Marissa and Dan over Ryan, that round has to go to The O.C. Oh, and Anna Stern might be the coziest girl in the world, ever. My need for making her my girlfriend is only halted for two reasons. 1. She would never do me. 2. She isn't real. If you disregard those two minor indiscretions, we should have our first child when I'm financially stable. Actually, that last bit could probably count as reason number three. That being said, Chuck Bass is the man. Gossip girl wins that one. But if you consider the various factors that make up a good show like this, (plot, girls, guys, drama, love etc) there aren't many shows that can beat the O.C season 1. While anxiously awaiting GG season two, I'm watching the O.C season 1 all over again. I know, I should get a day job. Wait, or maybe I won't.

I'm trying out a new concept of shooting a story this week, I'll be sure to let you know how that goes. And I'll be posting some New York pictures later during the week. Say, Thursday?

// R

Terry, at time are we meeting?

2008-08-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has followed this blog could probably guess that I like Terry Richardson. Anyone who integrates fashion/photography with humor is always going to be fucking spectacular in my book.

2008-08-21T05:10:00.000-07:00

I finally managed to acquire and set up the domain-name that I've been chasing after for like a year now. In accordance to me gaining this new web-space, I also updated my website. Hence, my new website is:

WWW.ROBINJONSSON.COM

Potential part II

2008-08-19T09:09:00.000-07:00

Some people are just destined to do things. DaVinci was always a genius, Gandhi was always a lesbian and Gretzky was alway a hockey-player. They simply possessed something special. I could train for 100 years straight, and I would still never be as good at hockey as Gretzky. I don't believe in fate, but I do believe in assessing, knowing and then living your life according to your limits. This kid is off to a really bad start. When I was a kid, I was afraid of the dark. However, I was not afraid of the dark when it was light outside and the "darkness" had the same shape as me.

Sweden shoot.

2008-08-18T10:08:00.000-07:00

So, these are some "behind the scenes" photos from my last shoot in Sweden. I'll let you know who it's for+where and when you can get it, all in good time.

Actually, the picture below needs some explanation. Since we were shooting by the sea, the wind was an undeniable influence. By that, I mean that some of our stuff went flying straight into the ocean. For some reason, everyone thought it'd be a good idea if I went in and got them.

Potential.

2008-08-17T16:10:00.000-07:00

This is a girl I shot last week for a British publication. She was 13 and really talented, actually. She did her first gig when she was ten, and last year she modeled in Japan. When I was 10, I did nothing and when I was 12, I did even less. This girl has potential.

The olympic games

2008-08-11T14:51:00.000-07:00

I'm not a huge fan of the olympic games. They're just not what they used to be. First of all, nobody's even naked anymore. Second, I can't help but feel that most people who compete in the olympics, are absolute fools. Not only are 50 % of them competing at shit that nobody cares about(yes, I like football), 98% of them also end up in a position that nobody cares about. Hence, if you mix the elements of "Skeet-shooting" with "47th place" and "practised for 17 years to get to this point", you know what you'd get? You get a very delicate recipe, called: "A waste of fucking time." Exhibit A being the fact that all of you are now looking up what the hell Skeet-shooting is.

One thing I do like about the Olympics(other than the fact that Lebron is there), is the fact that every country is secretly waging war against each other, with nobody being hurt. Except for that girl who upset Tonya Harding, bad call. Anyways, wouldn't it be great if wars were settled like this? If England and Argentina just sat down and said:

"Okay, we know you want the Falklands back. We want to keep them."
"Why would you want to keep them?"
"It's quite simple, because...uhm...You know what, we'll race you for them."
"We'll what?"
"The strongest runner from our country, probably someone from our overrated football-team, will race the strongest one from yours."
"Okay, and what does the winner get?"
"The Falklands, you idiot?"
"Right. And we want Heather Mills."
"It would be cheaper buying the Falklands back."

Sorry, I got sidetracked. I hate Heather Mills.

Anyways, back to the olympics. I'm not sure what I think about China hosting the games this year. On one hand, I feel that the games should be completely independent from all political stuff. The nazi-olympics of 1936 being the flagship of that argument(Granted, Jesse Owens did win 4 gold medals.) On the other hand, the games should be representative of goodwill and sportsmanship. Try telling team-monk up in the mountains that team-red on the other side of the border are brilliant examples of how one should behave towards other people.

Question: Why are javelins being thrown vast distances, in a stadium full of people? I mean, if one nano-second can change the outcome of the 100-meter dash, can't one little slip send a javelin hurling towards 8-year old Johnny? After all, he's only attending the games because his father owns the factory where the rest of the people who are at the stadium work. He doesn't deserve that. If anything, his dad is the one who should have to experience what it would feel like to get a kidney-piercing.

I can't say I care enough about the olympics to trash-talk it too passionately. I just know that the if they introduce cars in the olympics, I...probably won't be able to do anything. But that would suck.

there's nothing like the place I shouldn't call home.

2008-08-06T11:03:00.000-07:00

As an adoptee(casually made up word), I am now reaping the benefits of the glorious nation that is Sweden. Sweet.

I wish Vogue would make it rain on me.

2008-08-04T10:09:00.000-07:00

Tim Walker is amazing. I'm really jealous, he basically gets to use all the props that I would love to use. At least one man is taking advantage of the fact that Vogue is making it rain on him. Someone told me British Vogue sold over 2000 pages for advertising last year. Each page would set you back about 32 000 dollars.

I can't believe I haven't seen this video before. Familjen's song "Det snurrar i mitt huvud" might be accompanied by one of the best videos in a long time. Although, it probably doesn't make any sense if you're not Swedish. "Familjen" is not only is a music group, but also a religious sect in Sweden. They're kind of like the retards from the Borat-movie. Anyways:

Majjson

2008-08-03T05:12:00.000-07:00

Some pics that Maja took during our jazz-picnic in Paris. I have high hopes for Maja, she's going to be an excellent photographer. She's working on a project right now that is going to be fucking amazing, I kid you not.

I took this picture. Definitely the best one, no? I think so too.

pics: Maja Daniels

180-magazine

2008-07-31T10:05:00.000-07:00

This i-magazine/photographer's forum called 180-magazine are running some of my USA-pictures in the August issue. They also asked me a couple of questions. I'm still really bad at answering.

180 Magazine August issue

2008-07-30T07:51:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to set up stuff for the shoot in August. It's really hard over here, though. The whole situation makes me want to go:

I'm Swedish. Can't you tell?

2008-07-28T09:07:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from this last week in Sweden. I had almost forgotten how much fun I have when I go back. Almost. Oh, and congratulations on your wedding, Hanna and Marcus. Best of luck to you and baby Edith. I am now officially out of disposable cameras, and I don't know where I can get new ones.

me and grandma.

I'm trying to become a photographer. This last picture is proof of the fact that I have no fucking idea of what I'm doing.

// R

Homosexual's right to adopt the order of the Phoenix.

2008-07-27T06:49:00.000-07:00

In the car today, while driving back from yesterdays wedding, people on the radio were talking about whether or not homosexuals should be able to adopt children. Should I address this issue? I'm not sure it's of any relevance, but I kind of have nothing else on the agenda, anyways.

Naturally, I am pro homo-adoption. Anyone who is against it is simple fighting a lost cause, so I just jumped on the winning team. While I'm pro homo-adoption, I'm definitely against homosexual people's right to adopt children. There's a distinct difference, and that difference is the reason why they haven't won this debate yet. Take the guy on the radio, for instance. He was trying to evoke sympathy by arguing that he should have the same rights as everyone else in this issue. I was thinking: "I don't know you. I don't give a shit if you get less french fries than everyone else at McDonald's. Bu-fucking-hu." I'm not pro homo-adoption because The Village People should have the same rights as me. I'm pro homo-adoption because every kid in the world deserves to get the same chance that I got, regardless of whether your parents end up being the Volvo-driving, emotionally handicapped "mr & mrs Smith", or if it's George Michael and Anthony from Hercules & Love Affair.

Of course, there are many arguments that say homosexuals shouldn't be able to adopt. 80% of those arguments are stupid. And the best part is that the main arguments are the ones that make the least sense.

A. It's unnatural: Can't we all agree on the fact that human beings have evolved too far for us to try and keep it "natural"? If this argument is to work, we might as well abolish things like airplanes. I mean, if it was "natural" for mankind to fly, we would probably have wings. The same thing goes for photoshop, medicine, and those kind of shoes that have wheels on them. You know what, I'm convinced. Let's just fucking abolish everything that makes our lives easier.

B. The suicide rate for those children would be high: In China, people can only have one child. If the first child is a girl, sometimes people kill it, just because boys are more profitable. I'm sure all the first-born girls of China would be thrilled about ever having the opportunity to actually do the deed herself.

C. The kid will be bullied at school: At least he's going to a fucking school, isn't he?

D. If you disregard the monetary side of things, the child would be happier with his family: You can't just disregard the fucking reason why the world is spinning. Money is everything, especially to people who don't have any. Trying to disregard the factor of money in this issue is beyond ridiculous. I've said it before, it would be like me saying: "Okay, I think I'm going to climb the stairs onto the roof of my building, and then jump. If I just disregard GRAVITY, I should be fine."

There are a number of stupid arguments for why it wouldn't work, but I'm sure you all have better things to do than reading my thoughts on these kind of things.

// R

p.s I saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. A pathetic movie, to say the least. The guy who plays Dumbledore ruins everything. I'll write more about that tomorrow. I'm very tired, and I'm going to sleep.

.

2008-07-24T11:35:00.000-07:00

I just found out that one of my childhood friends got stabbed to death. Over a cell-phone. A fucking cell-phone. He was an only child too, I feel really sorry for his parents. His dad and my dad have been friends for a really long time. His folks are really nice people too, I hope that they'll pull through. We actually hadn't hung out for a long time, but it still hit me like a fucking brick in the face. Our dads played bowling together when we were kids, so we always used to play during the games etc. He started having some legal problems when he was about 14, but he was a good guy, and always really nice to me whenever we bumped into each other.

I was going to work on my portfolio and plan a shoot that I'm doing here in Sweden, but I don't feel like it anymore. I shouldn't get too sentimental about it here. People shouldn't read blogs because they're sad, they should read them because they're funny. To all my buddies: I'm assuming that you're all in good health. Please stay that way.

I'm kind of thinking what I would say if I ever met the guys who did it. I can't think of much, except:

You could have had my god damn cell-phone. You didn't have to kill a friend of mine.

speaking of good videos.

2008-07-24T04:47:00.000-07:00

I don't think I even have to say anything.

Old older oldest.

2008-07-21T10:22:00.000-07:00

This looks like an old post-festival picture, but I can't say for sure. I'm going to Sweden tomorrow, and hopefully I'll get to do a shoot right before coming back here on August 14th. Also, if you're going to be in New York during the fall, holla. pic by: erik

Oh, and if you're in Gothenburg this week, be sure to stop by Uppat Framat on Friday for Jens' and Alex' "Cheesy not Cheesy" night. I love the promo video.

In the summertime

2008-07-20T06:58:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I'm missing out on all the fun semi-naked man-on-man love in Sweden. I'm going back on Tuesday, though. See you then?

pic: jens

she's gonna teach me how to swim.

2008-07-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

Very superstitious.

2008-07-15T12:39:00.000-07:00

I wouldn't say I'm a superstitious person, those people are stupid. I don't believe that some things mean bad luck; walking under ladders, breaking mirrors, spilling salt etc. However, there are certain things that bring bad luck upon you, for sure. A black cat crossing my path is way too random for it not to mean something. My most firm belief lies within the art of jinxing stuff that you really want to happen. I'm terrible at not jinxing things, which is why I made it my new years resolution. It is not going well. At all.

I have a couple of weird superstitions as well. For instance, I think it's bad luck fastening your seat-belt on an airplane. That's a really stupid one, right? You know what else is stupid? Not realizing that commercial airplanes are a relatively new invention. Hence, giving people the illusion of safety is still really important. Not a lot of people our age are afraid of flying, since we know that the million gadgets on an airplane have been checked a million times by people a million times smarter than us. However, airlines don't make their money off people like us, who pay 400 dollars for a round-trip ticket to New York. They make their money off our parents and grand-parents, who pay 1000+. People that age wouldn't fucking set foot on an airplane, unless there was a seat-belt.

Here's what I'm thinking. In terms of velocity, an airplane finds itself in four general situations:

1. Standing still
2. Going at slow speed(Backing out of the hangar etc)
3. Going at moderate speed(Take-off and Landing)
4. High speed(Mid-air)

1: The only things that could injure a passenger during this state, would be another plane crashing into the plane I'm in, or maybe an explosion. At what point during those scenarios is the 3-inch textile-strap going to do anything for me?

2 and 3: I think these two scenarios would occur in the same manner as a car crash. The natural outcome of a car crash(if you're not wearing a seat-belt) is being thrown out through the windshield, since there is no force to drive your body upwards, only forward. I don't think you've heard of anyone who has been in a car crash and have been thrown out through the roof. The same thing would happen in an airplane. If you're going at a slow/moderate speed, you would be jolted forward. This is were the airplane-seatbelts become pointless. Since airplanes don't have three-point seat belts(Swedish invention, thank you), your lower body will be strapped down, but your upper body will still be jolted forwards. Ergo, you will smash your fucking face against the seat in front of you, whether you're wearing a seatbelt or not.

4. You are going at a speed of like 600 mph. If you have a mid-air collision or crash, that thing is going to be about as useful as a combination between a Snickers-bar, a hockey-stick and a pair of dirty underwear from one of the former members of The Ramones.

Of course, I base these theories on absolutely nothing, it's just what I'm thinking. I'm not saying that people shouldn't wear seat belts on airplanes. I'm just trying to justify me being superstitious and a general fool.

Pictures from all the mayhem in Sweden are coming on Thursday. I have a shoot tomorrow, keep your fingers crossed, people.

// R

JE PEUX TOUCHER?

2008-07-07T11:10:00.000-07:00

I miss Batman.

2008-07-04T01:27:00.000-07:00

Even though most Swedes have a more than adequate knowledge when it comes to English, we still feel the need to translate things. The thing I don't get, is who picks what gets translated and what doesn't. For instance, why is "Spider-man" translated, but "Pirates of the Carribbean" isn't? I'd say, if you asked any child in Sweden what the "Carribbean" is, he/she would probably say something like "It's the place where Legolas lives these days." That would be the extent of it.

On a side-note, why are some things directly translated, while others aren't? Spider-man is a good example. In Swedish, his name is simply Spindelmannen, meaning exactly the same, Spider-man. Super-man, however, is called Stålmannen, which means Steel-man. The word Super is even a word in Swedish, and it's far more indicative of his abilities than Steel-man. If you want to do something about the name, make is less farfetched, not more? Do something about the name "X-men", for instance. To me, that sounds like a gang of middle-aged pseudo creeps that make S&M films when their wives are off playing squash. "X-men".

This is, by far, the dumbest one. My favorite character, possibly of all times, who has an awesome name, was completely left at the hands of Swedish translators. I don't know what they had been inhaling, I'm assuming it was something like kerosene. For eight months straight. Anyways, they decided to translate my favorite character's name "Bat-man"....to "Leather-patch". LEATHER-PATCH? Somewhere in Sweden, there is a degenerate fucking prick, who is laughing his ass off with his buddies. That has to be the biggest prank in subtitling history. I have never, in my life, heard a more stupid name for a super hero. "Leather-patch & Robin". Maybe they should have just made it "Leather-patch & Relatively small, often crimson-colored bird with a pleasant sound." Forgive me if I, as a criminal, wouldn't crap in my pants when I heard that Leather-patch & Robin were on my tail. Not only does it sounds like they're would be chasing me in a Mini-Cooper, they probably wouldn't venture to go over the speed-limit.

"Dude, we gotta bail, Leather-patch is on his way!"
"What, like a patch of leather? Can it walk, or is it attached to someones jacket?"
"No, the guy!"
"Forgive me if someone named after a small bit of carefully treated animal-skin isn't going to make me drop the Xbox 360 that I am trying to steal."
"Robin might be coming too!"
"Leather-patch AND Robin? This scenario just gets gayer by the minute, doesn't it?"
"Let's go, I hear he's dangerous!"
"He can't be that tough. Naturally, he is non-resistant to water. As for Robin, he's a grown man who wears tights and a red jumpsuit. His nemesis is probably every single person from the southern parts of the USA."
"Great, he's here. Why don't you go over there and splash some water on him? He's the huge, ripped guy with a cape, a bat-mobile, and a 2-inch belt that carries 400 gadgets. Go on, I'll wait."
"He's...He's bigger than I thought. Now, in which direction would you prefer to run? I think that way might be uphill."

We all know how the rest goes. Wait, I think I just got it. The name change actually benefits him in the end, since criminals underestimate him. You know what, fuck all that. Batman is simply the way it was meant to be.

Milli vanilli. classic.

2008-07-02T04:32:00.000-07:00

What's worse, that this song was ever made, or the fact that I think it's awesome?

I'm semi-sick, although nobody believes me. On top of that, we had dinner with some friends last night. It was really nice, and after having complained about how sick I am(which nobody seemed to buy), we had cherries for desert. Now, I'm allergic to avocado, raw carrots, apple-peal etc etc. Also, I seem to be allergic to cherries. But I had already bitched about being sick, so I couldn't start bitching about the cherries too, so I had to sit there with a swollen throat until it was time to leave. It was like being in a song by Sugarhill-gang.

I'm back in London tomorrow, and I'm going to Sweden in a week. I'm really excited about it. I'm sorry that the pictures aren't coming, I still haven't gotten paid. Hopefully on Friday, god willing.

My sister.

2008-06-28T10:52:00.000-07:00

My sister is hilarious, this is how most of our conversations go:

M: So, I went to see Radiohead the other day.
R: I don't think I'll ever be into Radiohead. Radiohead and The Velvet Underground.
M: The Velvet Underground! That's the guy from Metallica, right?
R: The what now?
M: One of the guys from Metallica quit the band and started the Velvet Underground.
R: No, Slash from Guns N Roses founded Velvet Revolver, though.
M: Right. So, Radiohead wasn't that great.

It's a good thing we're siblings, otherwise our conversations probably wouldn't go anywhere.

Paris is good so far, I haven't done anything spectacular so far. I saw Bumblebeez last night at parisparis. The music is kind of a joke, but the girl is an insane amount of cute. I see the same qualities in her as I do in Amanda Blank. Although, Amanda Blanks is more of a bad ass, naturally. I want to go somewhere in August, any suggestions are welcome. Just don't mention Italy.

The cutest video. ever.

2008-06-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

This might be the cutest video I have ever seen. No joke.

Also, I'm in Paris aka the Mecca of metrosexuals. I'll be posting pictures fairly soon, so stay tuned for that.

// R

Boston legal is not what I want to do right now.

2008-06-23T10:19:00.000-07:00

I'm editing the pictures from yesterday, while translating Boston Legal for Swedish television. It's a nightmare. At least the last part. Where is my photo-editor when I need her?

2008-06-20T12:33:00.000-07:00

The beginning of this post is going to be a bit weird, since it's mostly meant for two people. Anyways, we had a triangular discussion about sending the 20 first songs on our current studio-playlists to each other. Here you go, if you still want them:

1-10

MGMT - Electric Feel(aeroplanes remix)
Hot Chip - Colours(fred falke remix)
Jamiroquai - Little L
Fujiya & Miyagi - Collarbone
Soulwax - NY Lipps
Hot Chip - Wearing My Rolex(wiley cover)
Van She - Strangers(van she tech remix)
Simian Mobile Disco - Hustler
MGMT - Time to pretend
Röyksopp - Circuit Breaker

11-20

Wolfmother - Woman(mstrkrft remix)
Miami Horror - 5feet snow
Chromeo - Bonafied lovin'
Daft Punk - Voyager
CSS - Let's make love and listen to death from above
Hot Chip - One pure thought
Metro Area - Let's get...
MGMT - Kids
The Knife - Heartbeats
Devendra Banhart - I feel like a child

Anyways, wish me luck.

KURV

2008-06-18T04:35:00.000-07:00

FINALLY, the boy-story that I shot is being published. Basically, the magazine went through several layers of bullshit, before they found a decent publisher. Anyways, the magazine is called Kurv and I have a 10 page editorial. To my friends in Australia, you can get it at Borders and some other locations. To all you Americans, you can get it at most Barnes&Nobles. To be honest, I'm not very happy with it(since it is now outdated) but I'm shooting 12 fresh pages for them on Sunday, so I need you guys to buy this issue. That way, at least I'll know that there will be a next one. I'll keep you posted.

KURV

I went to Dover Street Market yesterday, I definitely prefer Colette. Also, Sweden is playing Russia today. Don't forget to watch that. I don't want to push you in any direction, but remember where communism got its major breakthrough.

article and the weird colab

2008-06-16T07:14:00.000-07:00

Did you guys hear that N.E.R.D, Julian Casablancas and Santogold are making a song together? That has to be the mother of all random collaborations. Also, I don't really see the potential in it, it feels way too The Hives vs. Timbaland. I guess we'll have to see. Oh, and I'm giving the new Coldplay album a test-listen in a bit. My hopes aren't very high. You know how guys are scared of admitting it when other guys are awesome? I feel like that rule doesn't always work. What I mean is, there are some guys that are just so awesome that you have to admit it. It doesn't matter if you're a biker, hockey player, junkie or David bowie. There's just no denying that Chris Martin is an undeniable bad ass.

In other "news", the corporation called Snappy Snapps here in London have apparently been fucking me in the ear for about 6 months now. They charge like 10 pounds to put a roll of film on CD(about 20 dollars, as opposed to 5 dollars at Wahlgreen's). Today, I found out that Boots does the same thing, for 6 pounds. I'm not happy about this. Not happy at all. I probably won't be posting any pictures until I get back from Paris.

Fluro did an article/interview on me. They kind of misinterpreted my answers, but whatever. I guess sarcasm doesn't transfer as well digitally. Steer over to www.fluromag.com to download a PDF. Or you could buy the actual magazine, your call.

This just in, another interesting collaboration is taking shape on the other side of the Atlantic. Apparently, Lil Jon, Stephen King and Mickey Mouse are making a song together. Can't wait.

The moon doesn't exist

2008-06-13T05:44:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about something all fucking day. It's one of those random things that I get in my head and then I just can't let it go. You know how the U.S supposedly landed on the moon and all that. Don't worry, it's not a post if whether or not they did it. I was just thinking, the flag that they put up there, does it stay erect or does it hang? I mean, there's no wind to keep it up, yet not enough gravity to pull it down. Since there is no force to impact it, does that mean that the initial positioning of it will be the permanent one? Meaning that if I held it halfway up/down and just let it go, without giving it any force, it would stay that way forever? If you provide force to something in space, I've gotten the impression that it will just keep on going and going forever, since there is no resistance. So, if I grabbed the flag and swung it around the pole, would it swing around it forever, or slow down because of the friction between the garment of the flag and the actual pole? Anyways, I don't know what I'm talking about, clearly.

Now to a more interesting point, I don't know if I should see the new Hulk-movie. Let's look at the pros and cons. Pros: Edward Norton is in it. That's the only pro. Cons: The Hulk, as a character, sucks. He's like the epitome of an only child, his motto being: "Do as I say, or else I'm going to throw a fucking fit. Right here in front of everyone." Along with Fantastic four and Captain America(who spawned that idea, seriously?), he's one of my least favorite superheroes. What's really the difference between The Hulk and his opponent, that happens to make him the good guy? They both bring destruction and mayhem wherever they go, don't they? It's not like the Hulk is conscious of his actions after he decides to throw a tantrum in the middle of New York City, just because there were no more tickets for "The wizard of Oz" on Broadway. Anyways, let's face it. I'm probably going to see it, Marvel has pretty much got people like me in the bag.

I just have to bring up Captain America. He has got to be the most stupid idea for a character, ever(Along with sponge bob). He's pretty much the personification of why the world hates the USA. And the funniest thing is that the USA invented him. The level of arrogance embedded in this concept is striking, and hilarious. It's like saying "We're going to create a ridiculously obnoxious character. What are you going to do about it? " There is only one country in the world that would invent a SUPER-hero and then name it after their own country. Forgive me if I have a hard time believing that the comic "Captain America saves the world" is going to be a blockbuster in Mogadishu. God bless that country. For comic relief, if nothing else.

I love that song, it's pretty much the epitome of nostalgia. I probably posted it already, but I don't care.

Tha Carter III

2008-06-12T07:33:00.000-07:00

I'm not even sure where to begin. I'm normally not that impressed with albums after the first listen, but this is fucking incredible. I haven't been this happy since Nirvana's "Nevermind", Rage Against the Machine's STA, The Knife's "Deep Cuts" or Guns N Roses "Appetite for Destruction". The track Mr. Carter(Feat Jay-Z) is a clear high-point to me, since they're my two favorite rappers. It's like mixing Ice Cream with Angelina Jolie and a mid-nineties Jim Carrey. There is simply nothing that could go wrong. Weezy is a bad ass, he should start hanging out with Tiger Woods. They could just sit around all day, talking about how much it has to suck just being a little bit talented. Oh, and don't miss the interview in this month's I-D, it's hilarious.

"To him, I'm a killer. To her, I'm a lover. I always wear a mask and I always wear a rubber." Workin' em (Dedication II)

Not only does it have the essential club-thrashers(Lollipop, Got Money(feat T.Pain), it has what most hip-hop lacks: Humour. It's actually fun to listen to, you don't feel like an evil white person after un-plugging your headphones. And I'm not even white to begin with. Some of it is pure comedy, I sometimes find myself just smiling randomly on the bus, like a fucking crazy person. To all of my friends, let me know if you want me to send you the album. It doesn't matter if you're normally into N.W.A, Run DMC, T.I, Rick Ross or Dolly Parton. You N-E-E-D it, okay?

"She drinks vitamin-water, says it's good for her health. She can wrap my whole dick around her waist like a belt." Walk it off (Dedication II)

Anyways, 5/5, 10/10, 100/100, you take your pick. My only conclusion after listening to this album is going to have to be: Fuck photography, how much is a one-way ticket to New Orleans?

To switch subject, kind of: Check out Young Buck, T.I & Ludacris - Stomp(Ratatat Remix). grrrreat.

Jonsson this, Jonsson that.

2008-06-11T14:19:00.000-07:00

I have the worlds ugliest last name. It's worse than ugly names, there's just nothing happening. If I'm ever going to be remotely famous, I need to change it. I'm thinking something either aerial(Robbin Airwolf, Robbin Hawk etc) or something mythical(Robbin Dragon, Robbin Narnia). Yupp, that would definitely put me on A-lists worldwide. I mean, do you think any of these people would have been remotely famous if they shared my name?

Clint Jonsson
Tupac Jonsson
Malcolm X Jonsson
Yves-Saint Jonsson
George W Jonsson
The artist formerly known as Jonsson
Jack Johnson
Ho chi Jonsson
Tiger Jonsson

No fucking way, Jose(Jonsson).

vampire elf dragon

2008-06-11T05:25:00.000-07:00

The roadrunner.

2008-06-09T17:06:00.000-07:00

These images are epic, seriously. They make me think of Mad Max II. How cool is that? Not very. Things are kind of weird right now, in a bad way. Don't worry, though. I'll sort something out. I always do.

Samantha Casolari

I'm like totally into film and stuff.

2008-06-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

People who claim that "Amelie" is their favorite movie. I don't even know where to begin. So I won't.

The reason why I'm single.

2008-06-03T19:09:00.000-07:00

Why do people buy flowers? It's like buying and then giving away an aids-patient, seriously. You buy something that inevitably is going to die, yet you nurture it to stay healthy for as long as possible. Does the term fighting a biological clock ring any bells? Not only are you wasting time taking care of something that you can't save. You paid to do it. "Check out our new service, Rent-a-child-with leukemia, see how long YOU can keep this 6-year old alive!" That's why flowers is a terrible gift. You're giving someone a dying, yet beautiful thing. It's like an aids-puppy, basically. To all of my friends out there who looove flowers, I'm going to start giving you aids-puppies. Let's see how fun that will be.

Speaking of which, I'm not that fascinated by pictures of flower-details and such. Pictures of extreme details, in general. It's like you're trying to create controversy by "showing something from an angle that you normally don't see". That is not the case. You are showing something from an angle that you normally don't care about. Do you know what you call people who stand in the street with their face 1 inch from a cherry for 2 hours, with a smile on their face? Let me tell you, they are not called "Infinite appreciators of sublime material detail". They are called fucking crazy people.

Glad to have gotten that off my chest. I just printed a new portfolio and some other stuff. The whole thing set me back about 600 dollars. It s-u-c-k-s. That's why I don't buy it when people say "I was so poor in the beginning, before I got to where I am right now". Bullshit, you either had enough money to buy a digital camera, or spend a shit load of money on development and printing. Pick one, you lying a-hole. I hear the camera adds 15 pounds on your body. Does that mean that a interview removes 20 000 pounds from your wallet 10 years ago?

Anyways, here's the recipe of the day: You take everything that I've stated above and you mesh it together. What do you get? Voila, the reason why I'm single. I just find it hard to buy into some of the hallmark-bullshit, even though I should definitely just stop being such a pussy. Unless I manage to outlive flora, I guess I'm pretty much stuck with that scenario. However, I feel the need to point out that a bunch of cool people lived totally asexual lives. Like Andy Warhol, and...and...and I should just admit that Andy Warhol at least had the opportunity to get laid.

In conclusion: In the arts of love and affection, oysters are considered to be an aphrodisiac. I, however, am the fucking anti-christ. Swell.

// R

2008-06-02T06:32:00.001-07:00

I came across this girls page, she's really good. There are probably 529875238942 photographers in central London only and it's fun talking shit about how many bad photographers there are out there. However, when browsing for new stuff daily, one has to realise something: There are so many fucking good ones too, it almost makes me want to

Too many good ones too.

2008-06-02T06:32:00.000-07:00

I came across this girls page, she's good. There are probably 529875238942 photographers in central London only and it's fun talking shit about how many bad photographers there are out there. However, when browsing for new stuff daily, one has to realize something: There are so many fucking good ones too, it almost makes me want to become a monk instead. I'd be a great monk. I have excellent self-discipline, I'm a great listener and I don't mind spending the rest of my life with guys who probably need to self-service themselves every 30 minutes. Keep in mind that none of these things are true. I'd be a worse monk than Pete Doherty blended with Boy George, listening to Sex Pistols while watching porn on a portable DVD-player.

Anyways, check this girl out. I'm thinking she might be Swedish, or maybe Danish. If she's Danish, she either needs to learn really good English or sign language. A sentence of Danish is harder to decipher than the DaVinci-code.

Lina Scheynius

Slipknot in Seattle

2008-06-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

Flashback from when one used to be a metal-fan. Don't ask me why, just blame my brother. Even if you hate the music(which you will), watch the whole thing. Then tell me it's "crazy" seeing John Mayer live.

The Streets and Buraka Som Sistema figured out a really cool thing to do live. All on their own.

I'm back in London, and still fucking jet-lagged. I haven't done a single thing since I got back, I'm about 2 seconds away from starting to climb the walls. I've got interesting photo-stuff coming up this week, though. Unfortunately, I can't jinx anything on my stupid blog. I'll let you know next week. Sitting in front of my computer, waiting for my microwave pizza, not wanting to translate fucking Goonies, I can't help but think: There are so many people in the world having more fun than I am right now. It's ridiculous. On the other hand, there are even more people who have never seen either a microwave pizza or Goonies and who wouldn't even be able to read this. Fuck me for being simply bored and not being able to deal with it.

I woke up at 4.00 AM today because of the god damn fucking jet-lag(as if it would care when I cursed it's name) and decided to watch Sleepless in Seattle on VHS. I know, the whole scenario is more 20th century than sending people postcards. Anyways, the movie was above expectation, but one can hardly say that Annie is cute. She flies from Baltimore to Seattle, just to stand in the middle of the street, say "Hello" and then go back to Baltimore. That's not what a future lover does. That's what a fucking crazy person does. Even though the entertainment value of that movie is high, the morale of it is often misinterpreted. It's not "When two people are meant to be together, they can truly conquer all". It's really saying that "true love" is a consequence of an insane amount of persistence and cheap airfare.

By the way, here is a list of the best movie-babies:

1. Kevin from Home Alone

2. Ray from Jerry Maguire

4. Jonah from Sleepless in Seattle

4. Robin from Batman&Robin(At least he acted like a fucking baby throughout the movie)

5. Marcus from About a boy(all due to the haircut. bravo)

// R

p.s HOW could this song NOT win the Eurovision songcontest? I really hate Europe now. More than before.

Updated website

2008-05-27T19:08:00.000-07:00

I updated my website and uploaded my personal stuff, feel free to have a look:

www.robinjp.net/personal

// R

fuck batman. right in the ear. I would.

2008-05-27T08:05:00.000-07:00

I had to shave my hair off, seriously. I looked like a mix between Ringo Starr and a fucking Ewok. Exhibit A:

For those of you who are wondering what I'm doing, I'm making a statement. You see, we went to the place where they recorded the cave scenes for one of the Batman movies. So, this is me saying: "Fuck you, Batman! I am Robin, nobody messes with me! Probably because nobody has a fucking clue who I am, but still."

New York is awesome so far. I'll be posting pictures when I get back to London on Friday.

// R

Yelle and the douche.

2008-05-24T16:38:00.000-07:00

Question: What the fuck is this guy doing? I know it sounds like a retorical question but feel free to answer it. I can't seem to grasp it myself.

I wonder if yelle was any good at Coachella. I doubt it. That being said, any girl who speaks french gets an automatic +2 on the 1-10 attractiveness-scale.

Peasant mentality

2008-05-23T11:53:00.000-07:00

I was just talking to Max about the concept of "peasant mentality". Basically, it's something that you do or say that makes you a part of the general mass. It's funny how people think that they're never part of the general population, simply because their grand-father was a part of a european sub-culture and because their godfather is into film-noir. Jonah supposedly wanted to write an article for his satire magazine, entitled "99% of the American population believe themselves not to be a part of the masses." Anyways, here are a few things that you should keep an eye out for:

Patriotism: As we all know, patriotism is basically thinking that your country is the best. It'd be great fun to ask someone why they think that their country is number one. What would a good answer to that question be? "Uhm... I was born there?" I've never met a well traveled person who still thinks that his/hers country is the best. It's like saying: "I've lived in 100% of the countries that I've lived in. And that one was the best one I've lived in."

Autographs and pictures of famous people: Getting someone's autograph is like saying "You're cooler than I am. I just want to get that down on paper, so that I can look at it whenever I want to." I stood next to Chloe Sevigny at Coachella and I considered asking if she wanted to take a picture with me. Then I stopped and thought: Why would that even be cool? If anything, it drastically decreases the almost non-existent chance of us two ever being friends.

Standing in line for things that you can do for free: Not only doing this, but standing in line to PAY to do things that you could do for free. Like going to a club, for instance. What essentially exists in a club? Drinks, music and people. Disregarding differently configured lights and the amount of decibels, isn't that what a bar has? The reason why people go to clubs instead of bars, is the most crucial point if you want to get laid: At a club, you don't have to talk to people. I'd say, the possibility for sex would decrease by at least 75 % if you first had to explain why you work in converting coca-cola bottles into fur coats, that you're a chronic asshole who's been divorced three times and that you have four equally neglected kids, all of them named X jr. It's a lot better buying a drink for someone(ergo, saying that you want to be inside them) and then desperately trying to two-step to Kanye West's latest Daft Punk-remake. I'd say, if you were to eliminate the possibility for sex, there would not be 50 people in line for "Le Cab" in Paris. There would be one guy, possible from Germany, looking for a taxi.

Feel free to add anything to this list, it's important.

Anyways, we're about to drive to L.A, after having a huge breakfast. It's not fair, I love food but the nutritional kevlar that came with the baby-adopting package, courtesy of the Sri-Lankan government, is still intact. I sweat food, for christ sakes. What I'm trying to say is, I'm always going to be small enough to go to summer-camp inside Oprah's jacket pocket. God damn it.

// R

The most amazing video. ever.

2008-05-22T15:31:00.000-07:00

Hands down, the best and most exciting youtube-video ever made. If you haven't seen it, you have to watch the whole thing. Lucky, fat bastards on their jeep-safari.